Is D/s Really Hard?

I write about D/s a lot. There are reasons for this. For one, its the overriding factor in my life. I take it as serious as one can take a lifestyle. My partners feel the same way. It overrules and informs my entire life, kinks, sex. Everything. And if you are one of those people who thinks that sounds just fucking exhausting then this writing isn't for you. You can move along now.

Its becoming one of the less popular topics on here. There's no tits and ass to it. There's no cumshot in these writings or gloriously poetic and flower words about sadism. No bruises or cool toys (well there's a little of these things here - I gotta keep some readership).

In my younger years, I always wanted this life. And really until the internet and a bit of normalization of BDSM on the internet, I had written it off as something that was one of those internal urges that was best left unsaid, undone and put out of mind. And I am still amazed when I meet people that had or have the same thoughts.

When I look at my life now I don't even want to brag. Its hard to see it as abnormal. This weekend was one of hundreds of threesomes I've had in my life. They kneeled and ended up tied together, fucked thoroughly and we cuddled in a pile afterward. And that was all possible because of the D/s. Not in spite of it. If anything, I illuminate it because if there's some woeful asshole out there like I was, I wanted them to know its possible.

And I don't like it, but when people tell me I'm lucky, I don't really deny it. If my partners did not exist, I would truly wonder if any of this was possible. I've been so fucking let down by people chasing fantasies they don't have to do anything to get except watch me work toward it. And when I bitch about dating outside my partners, looking for a dynamic and people tell me my expectations are too high. Yeah both these kinds of people don't get it. And honestly they probably never will.

Its another reason I write about D/s a lot. People forget what it looks like because we've spent time watering it down so people don't have to try. Its like my kids when I ask them to clean their room and they tell me "ITSSSSS Toooooooooooo hard." No. It requires effort.

We live in a world where people avoid anything that resembles an obligation or requirement. Anything with expectations or a challenge. I wrote a status last night that required elaboration because people were actively avoiding the point. "If you want Dom or sub treatment, are you putting out sub or Dom energy?" Or put more eloquently, "The magic you seek is in the work you avoid".

If I hear one more time, someone say, all I can find is fuckboys (or whatever the other gender equivalents are).... If you fish with fuckboy bait. You will catch fuckboys.

The point to this writing is this. If you want D/s, know what it is. Steel yourself for a challenge and if you are the type that wants easy things and doesn't take pride in working for something, then leave that to someone else. D/s is hard. It will never not be. But that's what makes it worth something. And if your think D/s is easy then look to your partner. Either you just miraculously found something easy or they are carrying more weight than you know.